Tree Carnage

It feels like I am light years behind in keeping my stories here up to date. My mantra for 2011 was to not use my computer after work hours unless I absolutely had to. A byproduct of that mantra was very few posts throughout the year. But never fear, I am here and still plugging along living a full and exciting life!

Here's an old story:

It was less than a week before Christmas, when I awoke to what sounded like Dustin SLAMMING his car keys on the kitchen counter. I peeked open my eyes and didn't see any lights on in the house and figured it was just part of my dream (which was about work and the noise I thought I heard didn't quite fit the storyline). I tried shutting my eyes and falling back asleep but couldn't get the sound out of my head. After much coaxing in my head, I finally got up and agreed with myself that an early start to the day wouldn't be such a bad idea. Usually I lumber into the bathroom first and start my getting ready process but something told me to go out in the kitchen and grab a glass of water. WHOA! I screamed when I saw the tree carnage below -


At last, the noise made sense! The tree had toppled over! I couldn't quite process the why or the how of the tree taking a plunge. It had been up and decorated for over four weeks at this point, and we had made plenty enough movement (even dance parties) over that timespan to have knocked the tree over at least a dozen times. But it never even budged. That is, not until this day. There was absolutely no movement inside the house for a good six hours the night the tree tipped. Why? Why?

Fortunately, the water spilled out of the tree basin and onto the linoleum side of the floor and soaked two presents that were wrapped inside cardboard boxes. A bunch of sentimental ornaments broke and balls shattered. The ironic part of the story here is that I told Dustin after this Christmas I was going to throw away the old Wal-Mart glass balls that I bought 10+ years ago that were fading pretty bad. Of all the ornaments - these cheapy, crappy balls did not break! So I decided they would live another year on my tree just for showing their powers.


I was home alone when the tree plunged and cleaned up the mess alone, in my pajamas. The hilarity of the situation didn't kick in until after I looked up to the sky and said "why, God, why?" I think deep down this was God's way of saying - slow down and smell the roses, woman, and laugh a little. I ended up laughing a lot and all day. I was still a little creeped out about it, but didn't let myself lose any holiday spirit over it.

Every year I try to out compete the lifespan of the previous year's Christmas tree. This year, no way Jose. I took that tree down immediately after Christmas. The spooky tree had to go! Now it lays in the backyard, waiting for a spring bonfire death.